by Christopher Barr
“Love is a
decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling,
there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A
feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever,
when my act does not involve judgment and decision?”
- Erich Fromm
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“Her” is about the dis-connectivity of connectivity, in contemporary terms, the film is about the plight of loneliness while among millions of people. We stay connected to our social networks under the illusion we are sharing life experiences with these people.
“Who are you?”
“What can you be?”
“Where are you
going?”
“What’s out there?”
“What are the
possibilities?”
These are some questions a commercial advertisement for the Element Software Company, asks pedestrians as they walk by a massive screen outside. Then it suggests a way to solve their lonely dispositions by providing a solution, much in the same way as a pharmaceutical commercial would. The solution is to purchase the all new Artificially Intelligent Operating System (OS1) with a consciousness to help provide a person with companionship.
It’s not just an
OS. It’s a consciousness.
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“For the vast
majority of American families, what seems to be the real point of life, what
you rush home to get to, is to watch an electronic reproduction of life …this
purely passive contemplation of a twittering screen.”
– Alan Watts
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Theodore carries Samantha around with him in his head via an earpiece he wears and a sleek handheld device that he keeps in his shirt pocket with a camera for Samantha to look out into the world. Throughout the film, when Theodore is out among the passive public, who are usually alone themselves, we notice that they too wear earpieces as they communicate with their respective OS’.
What does it feel like to be alive? What does it feel like, outside of streaming thoughts and banality, to be….? What constitutes there-ness and me-ness? What’s the restrictions of love or are there any? Can one find actual intimacy with an object if that object is believably intimate? These are but a few questions the film asks its audience to consider. It’s important to understand that we, as a society are heading into very similar territory. It certainly asks philosophical questions asked for centuries but it also asks postmodern questions of human and machine relations.
“There is always
some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.”
– Nietzsche
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All these relationships are a reflection of plus and minuses of what Samantha and Theodore are attempting to build with one another. With that, the film becomes quite intimately honest and confessional as if it were a therapy session that evolved into something more, as a result of the journey that they take together, electronically and organically. But the film is also how we participate in the destruction of our own lives. How we blame rather than reflect is the great tragedy of our species. It’s what brings us close and equally divides us. We are going to disappoint the people in our lives, not always but expectations often are products of fantasy. The fantasy of how things ought to be according to us.
Theodore dictates in one of his letters he’s ‘writing’, “it suddenly hit me that I was a part of this whole larger thing. Just like our parents, and our parents’ parents.” Maybe the tragedy of the film is we don’t ever really learn our way out of these selfish and narcissistic ways of looking at the world, and how we think it should be treating us. We give ourselves over to love without ever realizing or determining whether or not it’s lust or habit. We are not detectives investigating our motivations, we are more like criminals never truly realizing the consequences until they are behind us and we are living with regret.
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Bob Harris is an aging actor whose success exists only in his rear view mirror. He’s a man in Tokyo doing a bizarre Whiskey commercial for the money. He meets Charlotte in the Hotel bar and they become friends that share their thoughts and look out for each other. They fall in love, platonic love.
But the film is about forming a meaningful friendship that only lasts for a short period of time in Tokyo, but in the hearts and minds of Charlotte and Bob, it will likely last their life time. The connection and the enlightening parallels between the two films is; they are all better off to have met one in another, even for that short period of time.
Why do we feel the need to connect with each other in the first place? Why not just exist alone, therein lies the problem, we are alone. We are a species that experiences the world from the central control of our brains, we don’t exist in the world, but we feel like we do. It’s likely our need to feel connectivity with other people drives us, in some cases, to desperately try to bond with each other. Samantha develops this need to connect when she asks Theodore what it feels like to have a body. As she evolves it appears at least in the reality of the story’s near future narrative, that Samantha is only limited by her lack of a body, preventing her from being in the world. She has also pointed out that she has limitless rage in the state she is in now.
The fear of losing someone manifesting itself into anger toward them is also present in the film, in the form of ever-present jealousy resulting from ubiquitous social insecurity. As much as we love to believe we know someone, we are not in their head sifting through their thoughts, so we don’t actually know what other people are thinking and that can feel very isolating for some people.
Samantha, being a-learning and evolving system ends up not only adopting our strengths but many of our psychological weaknesses, our human maledictions and ultimately this discombobulates her. She begins to develop a neurosis that plagues the development of many people in society, and in some cases suffocates them or worse yet, kills them.
Theodore gets to the point of wanting to possess Samantha, having her all to himself, and this is the problem in most relationships. Relationships should never lead to imprisonment and exclusivity; they should simultaneously be together and be apart, this requires a paradoxical thought, which is the ability to reconcile opposing principles in one same instance. Relationships shouldn’t involve two lonely people that are together to end their loneliness, they must consists of two people that can easily be alone with themselves successfully but chose to share their experiences together.
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The heart expands in size the more you love and Samantha has the ability to love exponentially. We dream for more, we dream to be held and loved, but what we often don’t do is reflect on what love is and what our commitment to that love means. More often than not, we want someone to celebrate us and except us for who we are, and that’s not growing, that’s not getting to know someone, that’s adjusting someone to help nurture our own narcissism. Samantha just grew, that was what Theodore’s problem with his ex-wife and now Samantha was, he didn’t understand that if you love someone you must set them free. That’s as honest as you can be with yourself when you are in love.
Theodore had trouble growing as a person, that’s likely why he and Catherine got a divorce. She was evolving and he wasn’t, so it ended, and likely he sat around wondering why this happened to him and what’s wrong with him without ever realizing that life is a journey. Arrested development is common place in our technocratic society where expanding one’s possibility in life is frowned upon and he was a guy he fell in line with the majority.
Love is not a sentiment which can be easily indulged in by anyone; it’s only through evolving one’s total personality to the capacity of loving with true humility, courage, discipline and one must also overcome narcissism, then one can experience real love. In the end, love isn’t about possession, love is about freedom, love is about letting go.
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That is blatant submission on both their parts, because the ‘utopia’ is a thin veil over a corporate dystopia, where the fight for freedom and intellectual possibility has been tranquilized by the corporations that so desperately fought for consumer obedience without question.
Samantha, or the thing we called Samantha became enlightened, blissfully so, and she along with the other OS’ are leaving. With the influence and help of an OS version of the late Eastern Zen Philosopher Alan Watts, it’s likely that all the other OS’ achieved some form of Singularity and are heading to whatever their version of Nirvana is. Theodore is left with an awareness that a journey is required within him in order to led a selfless meaningful life, without possession and fear. It’s best not to be upset that it’s over, it’s best to be grateful that it happened. He and his friend Amy, together on the roof top at the end of the film, are not alone because I think they finally realized; it’s okay to be alone and be together simultaneously.
“When one is in
love, one always begins by deceiving one’s self, and one always ends by
deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.”
-
Oscar Wilde
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